Johnathan was already there and didn't really know what he was supposed to be talking about but it sounded like they were inquiring about the apartment when we walked in :) We got to meet all of dads doctors and care team. They are all fantastic and it was so helpful talking to them. Basically the need for the meeting is that we realize we all need to be setting boundaries with dad. We have continued to let him run the show and it can't be that way. His head doctor explained to us that he is at a level where he really should be in a home with 24 hour round the clock care. She continued to explain that in those homes there are three round the clock caregivers for each individual. Well mom has been doing the bulk of the work and it is obviously wearing on her but also not the best for dad. We discussed dad utilizing providence's assistance much more. For example they will pick him up and bring him to all appointments...the doctor said mom doesn't need to be going with him and really shouldn't so they both have some time to themselves or to be their own people. As I have talked about before, Providence provides all sorts of assistance and dad has been refusing it all, but he is at a point where they need to be utilizing it. Another thing his doctor said is a must is that he needs to be in counseling. Angie, Johnny and I both did a big yes! when she said this. I think it is extremely important for him to be in some sort of support group as well as one on one counseling to help deal with his emotions and what he is going through that he can't or doesn't want to share with us. Both he and mom have kept such strong fronts since he has been diagnosed but obviously there is so much going on that needs to be discussed. We were also given information on an MSA family support group on Queen Anne that sounds fantastic! So that will be something we will be attending. Really the biggest thing was letting mom know that she has a lot of support and she needs to lean on us and know that we are on her team and whatever she thinks is best is what we will agree too. We are going to work on the boundaries and hopefully dad will realize that is best and we can go from there.
Unfortunately dad is very used to getting this his way. Its been like that for years and I'm not sure that he always realizes how sick he is (another thing I have mentioned before). When we got home we started to tell him what we had discussed in the meeting and he immediately shot down the counseling idea, (thinks it will be depressing) and was grunting about taking the bus. Angie and I spent the entire afternoon with him and then he called her 3 mins after we left and asked her to go get him vodka.... its no wonder mom is going nuts! :) We all want to do everything to make him comfortable and happy but he needs to work with us a bit. So boundaries was todays lesson!
Angie and I had a nice time just hanging out with him and chatting. ( Johnny had to go to work after the meeting) Dad said he loved seeing his family on Sunday at Auntie Dolly and Uncle Gary's! He has a big week coming up! His 69th birthday is on Tuesday!! He has a doctors appointment in the morning... and he will ride the bus! And then he is going to lunch with some friends on Wednesday. We helped mom figure out his caregiver schedule for next week and she got it all called in and we should be set to start him on a schedule and make him follow it. As harsh as it all sounds we and his medical team think the healthiest thing for all of us is for the caregivers to be his caregivers and for us to be his family and just get to spend time with him!
Lots of rambling :) Hope everyone has a great weekend!!
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