Today I wasn't really sure what dad and I were going to do. I got there at noon and he was in the shower. Mom said he got up early and made himself eggs and bacon in his new wave oven (one of his infomercial purchases) Mom was asking him what we were going to do and where we were going to go which had me a little thrown off because I didn't realize he had "plans" for us! He wanted to go grocery shopping and to home depot. Two things I was not at all prepared to do with him today! I know that sounds awful but it is a lot of work to get him in and out of the car and I love doing it if we are doing something enjoyable but neither of those tasks sounded all that fun :/ After a lot of discussion dad decided he was a little tired anyway and asked if I would run to the grocery store while he rested and then we could have the rest of the afternoon. No problem! He gave me his list and I was off! It is nice because there is a safeway maybe 3 blocks from their house! So I got all the groceries and then got both mom and dad a latte....which they were eternally grateful for!
Mom helped me carry up all the groceries and I got to chat with her briefly. She is wiped! Dad doesn't sleep. He has sleeping pills... but they don't seem to be helping. She said he gets up for the silliest things. I think this has been one of the hardest struggles for all of us. He still wants to be active and do the things that he used to, like cook, or be handy or whatever but he doesn't realize that he physically cannot do it and someone needs to be there helping him through it. So when he gets up at 3am to make toast or get a pen or whatever it might be, mom gets up too because otherwise she could be picking him up off the floor or worse. He knows he is doing it but doesn't know how to stop it. I think it is a combination of thinking he can do it and not realizing just how sick he is and also being a little delusional at night and in his own world. Mom did have a long talk with the providence people while I was there. I am not sure what came of the conversation but I reminded her again that it is ok to ask for help. Unfortunately she sees him at his worst and has to deal with all the emotions of having a sick husband as well as dad being dad and thinking he can hang a mirror by himself at 4am or even 10pm like he could have done a year ago. :/ MSA sucks.
On a happier note, I sudo helped mom unload the groceries while making dad a sandwich. I fed dad and we all chatted while mom continued doing stuff around the place. Dad had asked me to bring over my computer so he could look at the blog. I read him some of the entries and all the comments that you guys have posted. We talked about who was following it and he was excited to hear that it was reaching as many people as it is! Then he was talking about how he wished he could get a hold of some old california friends that don't know he is sick. He said he just received a letter from them so I suggested I help him write one back. He was really happy about that! We sat there for a little over an hour while he dictated to me what he wanted to say. He didn't really know how to come out and say that he was sick and I think he was trying to sugar coat it a bit but I said dad they need to know. So he did a great job of being honest while trying "not to have a pity party" When I read it back to him he got a little emotional and I just said I know dad I'm sorry this sucks!
As much as it sucks it was nice to sit and listen to him talk, and even though I knew all the updates it was nice to hear them in his words. I told him anytime he wants to talk on the blog or write letters I would be happy to type for him. I know Angie has told him this before as well I think that its just a matter of sitting down and doing it. So I'm glad we were able to get one letter done and hopefully more will come in the future!
I gave dad a hug and headed home around 4:45 leaving him with Nancy #1 & #2 and a huge batch of enchiladas that he requested I make :)
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